Not stupid. [ Theon murmurs and presses his lips to her hair. He smiles slightly at the memory. At least he had had that before he died and now he has this too and he deserves none of it. ]
[She beams, finding his mangled hand under the blankets and taking it in her own as she had done so many times.]
I was happy because I was with you.
You make me happy, Theon. [If such thing were possible, if he would ever stand for it, if she could, she would marry him in a heartbeat. Her third, and truest, husband.]
[ Her hand is soft and warm in his and he doesn't draw away. He swallows and he doesn't actually know how he could make her happy. He won't point out his flaws. She doesn't like it when he does that, nor would he say she deserves better. ]
[He's making progress, and so she helps him bring his hand between her legs, though there's still fabric and smallclothes in the way of her heat. Which for now is fine with her.] Tell me if you want to stop.
[ Theon says but he doesn't pull his hand away and he doesn't argue.
He's making progress here too. He holds his breath as his hand is pressed
between her legs. He can feel the heat of her even through the layers. He
swallows and the ache of what he's lacking is strong because he knows how
good it could feel, how good they could both feel if he was truly a man
again. ]
[She hates this. As sweet and loving and warm as he is, and yet he seems so put-upon. Without Michael, she's no one else she can get off with, and she'd grown a bit accustomed to such things.]
Do as you want, Theon. You do not serve me here, you know that. We are equal in this.
[ Theon swallows at her instruction and maybe it is true but it doesn't change that he struggles with this and it is easier to try and just find what she is looking for and do it. He knows he can't really satisfy her, despite what she says a woman deserves more from a lover. ]
[If that's what he wants. It's a conversation they've had a thousand times and will have a thousand more times before they die. Each time it breaks her heart into pieces to see this man she loved so destroyed, so haunted.]
Because every day I get to wake up beside you, and see you try. I watch you struggle, and yet you are here. Holding me. With you, I have what I always wanted when I was a little girl.
[Sansa shifts against his hand, humming in approval.]
No, I didn't. You drove me absolutely crazy. And then I hated you. Now, I don't want to face life without you. That's what I always wanted. A love like that.
[ Theon holds back completing the thought. He gently moves his hand against her, it's a light touch, and it reminds him that not even his hand is whole for her. But he does... like the way she moves. ]
[She bites her lip at his words, knowing what he wants to say. One day she will find another love like this. One that can truly please her. Too bad. She didn't want anyone else. She wanted Theon, and as Queen, that was her right.
She shifts against him again, pressing against his hand, urging him further with a look. The last thing on her mind were the thin tent walls, her brothers beyond.]
[ One day, she would change her mind because that is the way that
hearts can work sometimes. They just need time and right now he's...there
distracting her from moving on. He inhales as she moves, the look telling.
His hand started to gently move along her heat, at least he knew the things
that women liked with hands, at least his hands could mostly fulfill that.
]
Her breath catches as he touches her, and she bites her lower lip, keeping her eyes on Theon. She longs to return the touches, and settles for a hand on his thigh as she leans up to kiss him.]
[ Theon can sense what she wants and it frustrates him, makes him
guilty about the things he lacks and cannot change.
He offers what he can, leaning in to kiss her softly, the weight of her
hand is heavy on his though, he continues to touch her, the least he can do
is provide her with some pleasure. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's a stupid question, I know. [She'll never shake the feeling that she's still a stupid little girl so often, and most see her as such.]
I think about it often. Just sitting across from you, amongst the people.
no subject
You seemed happy... or happier.
no subject
I was happy because I was with you.
You make me happy, Theon. [If such thing were possible, if he would ever stand for it, if she could, she would marry him in a heartbeat. Her third, and truest, husband.]
no subject
I try my best for you every day.
no subject
And you do wonderfully.
[She shifts slightly to look at him, a spark in her ice blue eyes. With a small smile, she leads his hand lower.]
no subject
[ Theon murmurs but it doesn't particularly sound completely self-deprecating.
He blinks at her, staring when she leads his hand lower, and he doesn't resist, though such things always make him nervous, antsy. ]
no subject
[He's making progress, and so she helps him bring his hand between her legs, though there's still fabric and smallclothes in the way of her heat. Which for now is fine with her.] Tell me if you want to stop.
no subject
Sansa...
[ Theon says but he doesn't pull his hand away and he doesn't argue. He's making progress here too. He holds his breath as his hand is pressed between her legs. He can feel the heat of her even through the layers. He swallows and the ache of what he's lacking is strong because he knows how good it could feel, how good they could both feel if he was truly a man again. ]
I will do as you want, Sansa.
no subject
Do as you want, Theon. You do not serve me here, you know that. We are equal in this.
no subject
I just want to please you.
no subject
You do. More than anyone.
no subject
How?
[ He couldn't imagine how he could please her more than Michael could have or ... any other man. ]
no subject
no subject
[ Theon's hand shifts and he exhales a little and he lets his head tilt, brushing against hers. ]
You didn't always want me.
no subject
No, I didn't. You drove me absolutely crazy. And then I hated you. Now, I don't want to face life without you. That's what I always wanted. A love like that.
no subject
[ Theon holds back completing the thought. He gently moves his hand against her, it's a light touch, and it reminds him that not even his hand is whole for her. But he does... like the way she moves. ]
no subject
She shifts against him again, pressing against his hand, urging him further with a look. The last thing on her mind were the thin tent walls, her brothers beyond.]
no subject
[ One day, she would change her mind because that is the way that hearts can work sometimes. They just need time and right now he's...there distracting her from moving on. He inhales as she moves, the look telling. His hand started to gently move along her heat, at least he knew the things that women liked with hands, at least his hands could mostly fulfill that. ]
no subject
Her breath catches as he touches her, and she bites her lower lip, keeping her eyes on Theon. She longs to return the touches, and settles for a hand on his thigh as she leans up to kiss him.]
no subject
[ Theon can sense what she wants and it frustrates him, makes him guilty about the things he lacks and cannot change.
He offers what he can, leaning in to kiss her softly, the weight of her hand is heavy on his though, he continues to touch her, the least he can do is provide her with some pleasure. ]